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Saturday, August 7, 2010

It's almost time!?!

It is Saturday, August 7th and I am 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I am currently on "bedrest" which I have redefined as house arrest to accommodate my desire to "nest". I was admitted to the hospital a couple weeks ago for preeclampsia and that's why I have been ordered to take it easy.

So, I have been off work and here at the house organizing, cleaning, and starting to really freak out. My blood pressure has dropped a ton since I quit working but, I miss seeing everyone at my office. I miss solving problems, working with patients, and getting out of the house. It's hard to be a stay at home mom when your kids aren't here yet.

I also have a huge fear that my life is about to change and that I may not be ready for it. I have wanted to be a mom more than anything else for as long as I can remember but, now I'm nervous. I'm scared because I know that my life will never be the same and I hope I can adjust accordingly.

L and I have had a pretty great life so far. We have Jace twice a week and every other weekend so, we have had the joy of parenting but also got to enjoy newlywed life. Now, there will always be kids here. Will this change our relationship? Can we still make time for each other with newborn twins and a crazy 3.5 yr old?

I guess as with everything else, I will adjust and it will work out. I think (hope) these fears are normal and that they will pass once I see what I'm up against. It's the fear of the unknown.

1 comment:

  1. You will do great! It will be tough, there will be adjustments but you will find the joy in all of it. You must find a babysitter or a grandparent that can help you to watch the babies at least once a week, once every two weeks if possible so that you can have a date night. I know you are scared and it is normal, heck, I'm about to have 4 under the age of 4 and yes I am scared but I do know that with God's help, all things are possible! Seek His strength and you will love your new life as a mommy and a wife!!!

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